


What Even Is Love?

by floatinglanterns



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Character Development, Character Study, F/M, Family, Fluff, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 10:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14768066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatinglanterns/pseuds/floatinglanterns
Summary: She remembers being such a happy, curious child and now she had been conditioned into being a fighter who doesn’t show emotions. Someone who didn’t know how to love.A look into Gamora's idea of love and how she was able to feel it again. [Infinity War spoilers at the very end!]





	What Even Is Love?

**Author's Note:**

> After I saw Infinity War, I couldn't stop thinking about how much Gamora has opened up throughout the three movies she's appeared in so I just had to write this. I've never written for her before, so please be kind! It was definitely interesting to delve deep into her head and her emotions though. Definitely my new favourite character to write for!

Love is a funny thing, Gamora thought. How do you even begin to describe such an overpowering feeling?

Gamora wished she remembered more about her mother. She wished she hadn’t been trained to forget small details of her life before becoming an assassin. She remembers being such a happy, curious child and now she had been conditioned into being a fighter who doesn’t show emotions. Someone who didn’t know how to love. 

Peter would tell her things about his own mother that triggered memories in her. She figured her mother was a lot like Meredith. She remembers her being so incredibly protective over her, not letting her out of sight even for a second. She remembers her holding her close at night when she was having nightmares. She remembers her laugh and how it filled her heart with so much joy. She just wished she got to spend more time with her, because she loves her more than anything. 

Thanos stripped away everything Gamora thought she knew about love. If this was supposed to be love, then she didn’t want it. Deep down she hoped that someday she’d be free and she was willing to double-cross Thanos at the nearest opportunity, because it wasn’t love, and it never would be.

Growing up with a sister had always been Gamora’s dream as a child. Someone who could play tricks with her, braid her hair, laugh with her, and when Gamora finally got a sister that’s what she hoped would happen. Oh was she wrong. Being pitted against Nebula for survival was something Gamora had always hated but stuck with it in an attempt to stay alive. She was trained to want to hate her sister, but even then, deep down in her heart, she loved her, whether she knew it or not.

Gamora’s idea of love changed dramatically in the wake of finding her new family. A family that was so diverse in the way they thought and acted, but meshed well together as a team. A family that had broken lives that they were able to piece together to create a group of people who could find happiness again. 

She would never admit it, but she sympathised with Drax when he wanted to kill her because she felt the exact same way about Thanos killing her family. She could never have imagined meeting such a strong, yet strange man who would fight by their side through anything, and yet still be oblivious to metaphors making her laugh on occasion. Drax was the protective older brother that Gamora had always longed for. She loved him, and he was family.

Mantis was someone she related to on an unusual level. Mantis had suffered from being attached to someone her entire life and not being able to know what it was like to be free. Just like she had with Thanos. She wanted, more than anything, for Mantis to feel like she was a part of their new family. She joined them in their pursuits and Gamora learnt to love Mantis and couldn’t imagine her not being a part of their dysfunctional team. 

Gamora had always related to Rocket on an intellectual level. She felt like he was sometimes in her mind when they were discussing plans and tactics because they tended to have the same thoughts a lot. She admired his sense of self and hoped someday she would find that within herself again. Rocket wasn’t a rodent, or a pet, he was just Rocket, nothing else was like him. They learnt to love each other and the rest of the Guardians together as they grew, adapted, and most importantly, let their guards down.

Gamora felt a sense of emotion whenever she thought about Groot. She had done nothing but want to give him affection since his baby days. He was so innocent yet so fierce and oddly reminded her of her young self. She wanted to protect him and give him cuddles, something she hadn’t wanted to do since her days on her home planet. She loves Groot to the end of the galaxy and back, something she told him every night before tucking him into bed. 

What confused Gamora most was her relationship with Peter. The unspoken thing was no longer left unspoken and after having a lengthy conversation about it, things had changed. Gamora had shed several layers of her thick skin that night, opening up, letting him in, listening to him talk about his mother and Yondu, holding him as he cried. 

She was fascinated by his need for them to be ‘something.’ She’d never let herself get this close to anyone before, and for him to want to define their relationship scared her. They talked, and he reassured her that he would be ready when she was ready. Despite that, there was no longer an unspoken thing, and kisses were quickly becoming a frequent activity. 

Time went by and Gamora would find herself doing things she normally wouldn’t like brushing her fingers through his hair or feeling an urge to touch his lips before kissing him. The way he looked at her as if nobody else mattered. In a room full of people she’d find him staring at her, his eyes piercing into hers and she’d have an urge to hold him. 

Gamora almost didn’t recognise the woman she had become. She was still tough, fierce and strong, but she was also caring, affectionate and loving. She had reverted back to the small child she once was. Her fake upfront and persona had dissolved and she’d let herself become her true self. Someone who could kill you but also had a heart of gold. Someone who believed in the greater good. Someone who learnt to love a new family, something she never thought she’d be able to do after being ripped from her own. 

She’d not once said those words out loud since her mother had gone. She hoped someday she’d be able to say them again and let her fellow Guardians know exactly how she felt.

There were times where she tried to get the words out but they wouldn’t come. Only with Groot was she able to verbally express herself and that was when they were alone and out of sight. Peter would just reply “I know" sympathetically every time she tried to express her love. Then he would hold her close enough to his chest that she could feel his heartbeat. She did know, and so did he.

Then it hit her, in the midst of despair. Thanos had her, Peter had to kill her, he promised. She had to say those words, now or never. 

“I love you more than anything,” she attempted to control her tears for a second to give him a small smile, just to let him know how much she meant it.

“I love you too,” he replied and she felt her heart soar.

For a split second, in her mind, she was transported away from Knowhere, away from Thanos. It was just her and Peter and that was all that mattered.

Gamora felt it. Love. Real love. 

Maybe she’d felt it all along.

She just wish she told him sooner.

**Author's Note:**

> ... and now I'm gonna go and cry again!!


End file.
